I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
