I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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