I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i wish my penis had a tongue
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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