You can't special order awesome
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize