How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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