Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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