R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
