He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
