Already got asked if we're dating
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
