I feel like abortions should bother me more
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
There are leaves in my underwear?
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