so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
