...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
