Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
