What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
