I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
