you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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