I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
