I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Say something about gay babies.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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