drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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