If i come over, it means nothing
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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