i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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