what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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