She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
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