great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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