It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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