if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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