Me too!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
