just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
