I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
