Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
