i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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