i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
