He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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