I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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