Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
