we have officially lost it.
if only i could text you this smell
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
