Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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