You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
