Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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