whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
