my being single is dangerous.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i black out too much to be "responsible"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
