i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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