for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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