How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
No subtext here. People are naked.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
