Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Holy shit dude........stairs
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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