Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
