also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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