so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
