Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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