I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
