You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
