I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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