If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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