whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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