but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
