we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
