The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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